This is my very first post. I am hoping to find an outlet for the many things I want to share with the world. You see, I give a lot of people advice. It’s good advice……really, it is. But………most times they are not very happy that I am communicating so bluntly with them. Hopefully by blogging, I can share my insights with others who actually want to hear them, and perhaps leave some of my dear ones alone.
So, let’s get started with my piece of advice for the day, this day….June 24, 2015:
Keep your expectations low and your appreciation/praise high. Let’s look at two scenarios to illustrate.
1. You come home to your 3 teenage children and husband after a long day at work. You are tired and feeling a bit stressed about your day that didn’t go so well. You walk in the door and see your kids, some of their friends, and a mess. Your husband is in the bedroom laying back on his pillow drinking a cold one and watching the tube. Oh now you’re hot. You go with your first instinct and let him have it. He scrambles up, starts washing dishes, the kids tell their friends to leave, and you start directing them to do their chores. No one is happy….dinner talk is almost non-existent and kids leave the table quickly….. but hey things get done and you end up sitting by yourself drinking a cold one, watching TV in the relatively clean, organized house. The kids have left, the husband is crashed out asleep. That’s expectation—you walked into the house and expected things to be the way you wanted them to be.
2. You come home to the same circumstances as scenario #1. You enthusiastically greet your children and their friends. You kiss your husband passionately. You ask him if he would like another cold drink, and bring one back for both of you. You are feeling a little less stressed already. After relaxing for a few minutes, you kiss him passionately again as you leave the room. You go out and start picking up a little, nicely asking who left this or that out and gently asking them to put it away. You ask who feels like pizza or whatever. After you get a response, you start assigning jobs. Probably some of the friends and possibly your kids will want to leave at that point lol. You calmly inform your kids that they can leave when they’ve picked up after themselves and done any chores that are theirs. Hopefully, your husband will come in lend a hand. If not wait until the smells of your cooking bring him out and ask him to do this or that, sprinkling in some affection, affirmation, and gratitude. Now, this ending will look a Lot different. There will be laughter, motivation, and interaction. You and everyone else will enjoy themselves. Without the expectations that the house looks just like you wanted it to, and that your husband anticipated your needs, the result will exceed the expectations that you may have had.
This is because the energy created in the first scenario blocked everything you really wanted. The energy created in the second scenario was one of flow, where all you really wanted was given a chance to flow to you.